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Home > Resources > Feeding

Feeding

Audience: Parents

Type: Information sheets, Toolkit for parents

Topic: Therapy services

Independence in feeding is important for all children. Children need to have various motor skills, bilateral skills- ability to use both sides of the body together, finger strength and dexterity development to enable them to achieve using a knife and fork independently.

Developmental Stages of Feeding Skills

  1. Finger feeding, holds bites and chews a piece of food, may attempt to grasp cup, tries to grasp a spoon when being fed.

Tip: Offer bite size food with one finger food at each meal offering a few pieces at a time.

2. Holds and drinks from a cup, attempts to hold a spoon, brings to mouth and licks.

Tip: Use easy to hold cups, do not over fill, begin with cup with lid but progress to small cup without lid and a handle

3. Holds and brings to mouth, may play with food. Will drink from cup but holds between two hands.

4. Asks for food and drink independently, feeds self with spoon but can be distracted easily.

Tips:

  • Give opportunities to practice in messy play/ sand play with pots and pans or with dried foods. pic of tough tray with oats
  • Use foods that stick to the spoon such as yoghurt, porridge and mash potato as these are less likely to spill and therefore give better chance of success
  • Spoons with thicker handles or shorter handles may increase control and reduce spillage
  • Bowls with a raised edge can support prevent food sliding off when learning to scoop.

5. Attempts to use fork, once the child has mastered using a spoon, they can progress to learning how to use a fork

Tips:

  • Begin using a plastic bowl, then progress to using a plate
  • Use foods that are easier to stab and can be cut into larger pieces e.g. chicken, sausages etc
  • Avoid foods that will fall apart when stabbed such as boiled potatoes.

6. Eats with fork and spoon.

7. Attempts to use knife.

Tips:

  • Practice cutting with playdough and progress to soft foods.
  • Let the child help with simple food preparation using a knife, e.g. cut up a banana, make snack look fun cutting it into shapes
  • Start with soft foods that child can push knife through, such as boiled vegetables
  • Move on to teaching to cut foods that require a sawing action, such as soft meats

8. Uses both knife and fork together to eat. This is a complex skill as each hand does a different action but must co-ordinate together. Your child may need to practice activities that require both hands to work in this way.

Tips:

  • Try to emphasise the different actions of each hand the fork to hold food still and the knife to cut through
  • Remind the child to keep cutlery in their hands as if they put cutlery down then they will be more likely to use their fingers
  • Encourage the child to move the food using their cutlery into position on the plate so it is in the easiest position to cut
  • Try the hand-over-hand technique, placing your hands over the child’s throughout feeding
  • Practice finger strength activities
  • Encourage good position of hands when holding cutlery- pic with use index fingers and hold knife in dominant hand to give additional control
  • Practice at the beginning of the meal when child most hungry and more motivated
  • If child loses concentration/interest easily, have the spoon yourself and alternate child feeding self with giving a spoonful to keep meal moving along.

 

More tips

Assisting

  • If the child will accept physical help, stand behind them and help the hand with the fork in it to stay still whilst the knife moves back and forth across the food. Expect untidy cutting and some tearing of the food to continue initially starting with soft foods and help them with tougher foods like meat. Then as they get better, expect them to try to cut up tougher foods, e.g. tell them they have to cut two pieces and then you will do the rest. Slowly build up the amount you expect them to do.
  • Encourage your child to put their index fingers along the back of the cutlery to apply pressure to cut. Children can struggle to monitor the appropriate amount of force to exert when cutting. The combination of balancing movement and pressure can be difficult, children can struggle to apply the correct amount of force and cut at the same time. Discuss different textures of food and how difficult it is to cut and how hard you need to press. This will increase awareness and hopefully encourage how to exert appropriate pressure and movement relevant to the food.

Cutlery

Children need changing sizes of cutlery as they grow. The style of handle can also make it easier to grasp and more comfortable to use.

Type of dinner wear

We often give children plastic cups and plates in case they drop them. Sometimes using a heavier item makes us more aware it is there and actually less likely to drop it. A heavier plate will stay still more easily, aiding cutting. A pasta bowl or a plate with an indent helps keep food on the plate more easily.

  • Plates with a contrasting colour, e.g. white and not patterned where the food goes, can make it easier to see what you are eating. 
  • A pattern at the bottom if the bowl however can be a motivator for young children to clear their plate.
  • Use bowls with high sides or in a pot such as yoghurt to assist with loading.
  • Use hand over hand to help child learn scooping action.
  • Encourage the child to set the table.
  • Encourage to help in meal preparation.
  • Use PVC overall/ big to minimise mess on clothing.
  • Allow time and give lots of praise.

Mealtimes should be enjoyable try not to become over anxious and gradually reduce the amount of assistance

Tips to minimize food play

  • Give opportunities to engage in messy play outside mealtimes such as feeding dolls or role play.
  • Allow some opportunities to touch and explore food when finger feeding.
  • If the child starts throwing food, calmly remove and start feeding the child yourself. If the child has eaten enough, finish the meal.
  • Let child help clean up after mealtimes.
  • Encourage table manners.
  • Encourage to use a napkin to wipe face.
  • Comment on children during mealtimes who are eating nicely.

Let children be involved in the whole mealtime process, with help as necessary, such as laying the table, serving themselves, clearing up, pouring a drink, wiping the table etc.

Seating position

  • Ensure child has sitting balance with good seating position sat to table with bottom to back of chair and feet flat to the floor, the table should be at elbow height.
  • Keep the table clear from clutter.
  • Some children find it hard to sit for a whole meal – movement breaks are important. Have them help clear things away between courses, get up to get drinks etc. as a way of providing this.

Useful equipment

You may find the following equipment of use to further assist the child:

  • Thicker handled cutlery to support grip endurance whilst eating
  • Nonslip mat to help plate stay in position whilst cutting
  • Kura caring cutlery to support correct grip
  • A suction bottom or dycem under the bowl will help keep the bowl in position and stop from slipping
  • Junior Caring Cutlery
  • Spork and nork
  • Mat to encourage correct placement of knife, fork and plate

Related pages

  • Advice for parents

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Page published: 19 Dec 2025 Page last updated: 19 Dec 2025
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